The Girl with Yellow Shoes

You’re job hunting. You see a position available for a job you’re really interested in. The job description looks perfect for you. You meet all the academic qualifications. And then, you see they asking for about twenty years’ experience and you barely have three.

Well boy, thaz how I duz feel about life sometimes inno. Except, in this case, I got the job me ain’t even apply for. Like there was no transition period nah. Today you’re in school. This evening you graduate. Tonight, you’ze the dancing queen. Tomorrow, you wake up and show up for adulting.

I’m not okay. It’s not okay. Breathe anyway.

Some days, I think I’m a boss babe- walking up and down the stairs of school in heels, driving down the road pumping my Ravi B, doing a lil small exercise, trying to eat my vegetables and get a good sleep. Other days, my foot hutting meh, arthritis raise, the car wanna play up, gas so damn expensive and I’m like, who the eff gee and h I feel I kidding.

I’m not okay. It’s not okay. Breathe anyway.

You know what is top class breakdown material? Watching the bills rack up, your bank account looking like it just got hit by a 6.7 magnitude earthquake and you just out there studying how you gonna manage, harder than you ever study for you CSEC Maths exam.

And speaking of Maths, the maths doh maths sometimes inno. You out here just trying to live your life so you open up Facebook cuz all your lives on Candy Crush done and in the midst of memes, you’d see big, big smiles- engagements, weddings, babies, new jobs, new cars, promotions. You happy for them inno, cuz you ain’t about the bad mind life- but you still can’t help but wonder, as you click on the heart react button, when would be your day in the sun.

I’m not okay. It’s not okay. Breathe anyway.

I used to suffer alone. Mostly. ‘Cuz in my mind, why should I talk about my struggles and stresses? We are not a generation raised to talk about our problems. We are not a generation accustomed to having our issues be understood and not overshadowed by, “You have it good. In my day we never had that. Don’t complain.” We are not a generation raised to talk about our ‘business’ because all skin teeth ain’t smile. I believe the latter to be true just by the way.

I had two conversations today; one over ice cream and the other over the wire; both very honest in nature. And you know what I realized? I ain’t alone. So that means, you ain’t alone either.

You’re okay. It’s okay. Just breathe.

Sometimes I out here thinking that I not doing the most with my life. Sometimes I out here thinking that I struggling. Sometimes I out here watching people smile and laugh, travel and enjoy and I thinking that them have it nice. But, all ah we is one family and all ah we have we own very fair share of struggles.

Over ice cream and over the wire made me realise that although it may look differently for each of us, a struggle, by any other name is still hard times. And most of us, in some aspect of our lives feel inadequate; like if we were to get a report card on our adulting performance, it would read: She tries, but can do better. Or. He isn’t living up to his full potential; must try harder.

You’re okay. It’s okay. Just breathe.

I not telling you to go and tell everybody your business. Nah. I not telling you to go over the wire or go eat ice cream either. All skin teeth ain’t smile.

What I am telling you is this:

 Whatever you’re going through at this present moment, you’re not alone.

And it’s not a misery loves company situation. All of us deserve to be living our best life. But, in the event that you aren’t, I hope that your burdens are lifted and you can breathe a little easier knowing that we are all struggling just the same.

So you know what? Come down from dey, just like your mother used to say. Come down from dey inno. Come down from the pedestal of expectations you have perched yourself upon. The view ain’t great.

Seriously though. Stop it with the ridiculous expectations.

You do not need to save thirty percent of your income each month. Some months you could save a lil, some a lil more, and some- none at all.

Stop thinking that you have to get married and settled down by a certain age. Instead, try to find a partner that got your back for all seasons of your life.

Stop scrolling on social media and feel bad about where you at in life. People always show you the sides of themselves they want you to see.

Stop being so hard on yourself. You’re doing the best you can.

Doh be lazy inno. Work hard. Be honest.

Doh spend ten dollars if you only have two. Be grateful for your two dollars. Do as much as you can, with what you have. But remember you have to live.

Take care of your health. Green mango duz fall from the tree and leave the ripe one dey. Hydrate. Eat your vegetables.

Do not think you are better than anyone. All ah we going in the ground. Stay humble.

He who holds the iron, knows how hot it is. Don’t ever watch someone and think they have it better than you. Be kind.

Laugh inno. A good bellyful laugh. At least once a day.

But most of all,

It’s okay. You’re okay. Just breathe.

I’m proud of you.